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Thursday, March 29, 2012

what makes a man facing the first night

      Love brings us to the sacred marriage of the anticipated level in every teenager who has been mixing kasih.dengan bergai preparations came at what we want the first night.

is a natural if the first night had special meaning for every couple. This is where the moment for the first time men and women who had tied the knot in a single bed to see the altar. The first meeting is an important event in the series of wedding rituals and can affect the psychological journey of life to the next household.
Each partner must have a different experience with her first night. An unpleasant experience for the husband or wife on her first night will probably influence the course of their household. The following two stories are not fiction but a true story with a disguised name.
Mrs. Lenny disappointed on the first night because he tends to rough her husband in starting sexual intercourse (jima ') while he liked the gentleness weakness. This incident continues to affect the maternal imprint and Lenny so that every time you make jima 'with her husband she was not able to enjoy and always feel pain. On the other hand it is also not able to come clean to her husband about this situation, and consequently to have three children she was not able to love him!
Another experience that Mr. Archer continued to keep the disappointment of his wife finding no blood in the first night and because he suspected his wife was not a virgin anymore. Mr. Archer felt cheated, because his wife did not speak up about the situation before they were married, while he was worried his wife to ask offended. And that happens end to eight years of marriage Mr Archer felt they could not love his wife.
We may comment on two of the above situation by blaming the mother or father Lenny Archer, but in reality they are not happy in their domestic disappointment on the first night!
Islam and the First Night
First Night is one of a series that gets the attention of the wedding ritual in Islam. Noble Prophet teach us what to do bride and groom on the first night that all the activity is worth worship Allah SWT. Among the guidance of his SAW is:
A. When the two rak'ah prayers Login Meet Wives.
After the event walimah / reception is complete and the atmosphere was calm, he will enter the bridal chamber to meet his wife. At that time the Sunnah for both families perform two rak'ah prayer.

2. Ruling read the Bridegroom.
When finished praying, Sunnah for the groom to read the prayer of the Prophet Muhammad as the Prophet: "If any one of you marries a woman, so he let the prayer reads:
'Allahumma inni wa khaira as aluka khairaha jabaltaha alaihi wa ma a'udzubika min syarriha wa ma min syarri jabaltaha alaihi'.
O Allah, verily I beg of Thee his kindness and goodness which thou hast held for him. And I seek refuge in You from the ills and evils of which you held for him. (Reported by Abu Dawud)
3. Break the ice with a mutual dialogue.
If after that the atmosphere is still stiff, usually the wife, the husband should not rush to directly perform jima '. Consider the story of the first night of Ash-Shaykh Sya'bi, a famous tabi'in who married a woman from the Bani Tamim named Zainab bint Hudhair. Ash-Shaikh said Sya'bi as mentioned by Ibn al-Nisa Ahkamun Jauzi in his book ': "Once completed walimah and the atmosphere calmed down, I went to him and said,' Verily including two rak'ahs sunnah prayer. Then I stood up to do it and ask God to bestow goodness on tonight. When I turned to the right to say hello, I saw him go behind me praying. Then when it turned left, I've seen it already in bed. I also extended my hand, but he said, 'Be patient, actually I was the woman foreign to you. By Allah, now I'm climbing the hardest road that I had never experienced before. You are the foreign men, I do not know perangaimu, then tell you the things I like to do and the things you hate for me to avoid. I also said, 'I like this and this, I hate this and that, ... while he listened with rapt attention. Finally, the most beautiful night and even then I won. "
4. Do Jima '
In doing jima 'first husband should not hurry. Both partners should be treated gently. Interaction gentle and loving will allow them to do Jima 'this first. They should learn first-adab adab and ordinances jima 'taught by the Prophet SAW. There have been many books by scholars who discuss this theme, such as Imam Al-Ghazali in his book Ihya Ulumuddin. In one discussion, he writes about adab adab-jima 'as follows:
a. Basmallah read and pray before jima '. "From Abdullah ibn Abbas, the Prophet SAW said:" If any one of you wants berjima 'with his wife, let him read:' Bismillah, Allahumma wa syaithana jannibnaa ash-ash-syaithana jannibi rozaqtanaa ma '(the name of Allah, O Allah take away Satan and keep Satan from us than what you rizqikan to us). So if the relationship was doomed from the child, the child will not be disturbed Satan for ever. "(Bukhari and Muslim)
b. Warming up (introductory) jima '. Introduction jima 'is meant that the husband does not come to his wife's condition was not ready. In essence, women want from men like men want from women, only women's readiness to perform jima 'does not appear at any time as a man. Some introductory jima 'for example: fondle each other by having a light before jima' by kissing, hugging and all other acts which are intended to provide stimulation and evoke the passion to do Jima '. By doing the introduction jima 'is expected both in the state is really ready to berjima' so that they can achieve satisfaction.
c. Perform jima 'without haste. Do jima 'with gentleness and loving sayang.Jika in doing jima' The first difficulty is in fact still there, do not rush to finish it on the spot. Be patient, it may be easier after the last few days. And when the husband reaches satisfaction first, should not rush to move from his wife, wait until the wife can achieve satisfaction.
By considering the guidance of the Prophet Muhammad was the first night will be in addition to wonderful memories for both sides, as well as value-hand worship Allah SWT.

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